It's been oh-so-long-since the last entry, no good-byes, no- laterz! it was just "poof" and i was gone in the bloggin' world.    For a time bloggin' gave me a sense of space, a place where I could write my own story, a crib where i exhaust months of making an oh-so-creative-page. This crib has been a witness to my ups and downs, here, i was able to express the different emotions, happiness, sadness, frustrations, depressions, joy, the laughter, the fun and not to mention the daily reflections that touched me. And then suddenly i just stopped. Why?  One word. Denial. I stopped acknowledging the feelings, it was too much to bear.  It was so hard to accept, that even i a psychology major the-miss-know-it-all when it comes to psychoanalyzing the root-cause-of-one's-feelings. My mind just wanted to stop exploring my deeper emotions, i figured if i write i will have to dig those emotions and let it out and i wasn't ready, i was afraid of what i will discover... the weakness in me has taken over and i just want to bury those six-feet-under. What has happened the past year and a half was a whirlwind. I've moved out and moved back  home. Thought had found  "him" but lost him from some biatch! A happy job but traded it to a more complicated one. A perfect working place over  people who tries hard to put you down. A series of ill-feeling with my mom, even my sister at one point. I had the worst relationship with our creator and suffice to say I stopped reaching out bec i was so ashamed of what i have done. It feels like the world is closing out on me and i can't even trust ME, i was empty handed. I realized that amidst all the turmoil and confusion there is this teeny-bit-ray-of-light that has helped me carry the heavy cross in my back. Enough is Enough. I still had a cross to bear but I am no longer hiding, i no longer want to be a captive and a prisoner of my fear and weakness, pride and doubt, anger and depression. It will be a long shot but i have always believed in this mantra " there is no big or small problem, it is about how you cope and handle it that makes a better person".  So hear i am again after the silence i want to hear some noise and i just want to say "i'm back". I'm happy  to be back in my crib, i must admit it needs be overhauled and not to mention a major reconstruction.  My crib needs a lot of pimping and i definitely envy the cribs of the other bloggers. hahah! Thanks for all those who left comments in my blogs in my absence. I missed you all! =)